Monday Morning Medicine Podcast: What to Do When Things Seem to be Turning to ****

Posted by Trevor on 8 December 2013 | 12 Comments

Happy Monday morning everyone,


IMG_0931The picture with this podcast is the water feature in front of my home. We had a stunningly beautiful week of sunny days and low temperatures in Washington. I keep the fountains running to prevent freezing and it has this lovely result.

This week’s podcast is in response to several email questions about the way of the winding staircase. It includes a very recent personal example of one step forward, two steps back.




  1. KJK says:

    If you want to spread the word about TSS:
    Kindle version of TSS is $1.99 today (12/08/13) on Amazon:

    Have purchased & sent to several very lucky friends today
    (who will all likely follow up with the paperback/audio versions! 🙂

  2. KJK says:

    A grace note:
    Can buy/give even if you don’t own a Kindle:
    Amazon provides free Kindle apps for Amazon Cloud Reader, smartphones, computers (Mac & PC), and tablets. Download & install the appropriate free Kindle ereader, and you’re able to read Kindle books on your device:

    May be a good time to gift this to tech-savvy kids/family/friends- can’t beat the price, & the apps work well.

  3. MaCrae says:

    Needed that one.

    Thank You!


  4. Noel says:

    Thank you Trevor. 🙂

  5. Dan says:

    Fantastic, Trevor. It’s hard to stay on the roller coaster sometimes, but always much more fun when I’m on it. Thanks

  6. Summer R. says:

    Thank you for this good message, Trevor.

    Can you speak more to your statement that you didn’t feel strongly enough about the 4th offer, but accepted it anyway? What’s your reflection, in hindsight, about your hesitation about the offer?

    Have a great day………..Summer

    • Trevor says:


      It is hard to say. Just a feeling. Because there was a third party involved which in this case was a literary agent I felt bad for having turned down three offers (she lives on commission). This is what we all have a tendency to do… that is make decisions not because they are in our best interests but because we feel bad for someone else. But intuition is intuition and the few times I have not paid attention to it in my life it has gone awry.


  7. Ruth says:

    As always Trevor, you share such personal stories with us….and as always they really hit home with me! This is a great reminder to let life happen. It all works out just great in the final analysis anyway. Hindsight is always 20/20 vision. We can often see and be thankful for the “unpleasant” happenings once the pieces of the puzzle come together and we can the picture. I have to be reminded of this over and over. I am one of those people mentioned in the podcast who believes in God and still has fear. And, the way that you stated your thoughts Trevor made it so clear that if you believe then there is no reason to fear…ever.

    It’s time for me to learn to enjoy the ride more, and just let it happen.

    My practicing of TSS is changing my life for the better more and more everyday.

    Thank you

  8. mariejoseeparent says:

    What would you do with someone who is afraid of everything? That’s what my mother said to me yesterday. She was raised in a christian catholic believe. She still believe in god in a way. She is getting old with some major physical issues. She is now in transition to a special home for older people. She was in depression when we were younger, then got better for many years. Then her physical health was challenge, she became slowly less potent, not able to walk, then her arms got tighter so she cannot draw, write easily. Now her darks thoughts are coming back and forth.

    Most of the time I see that she is just fulfilling her contract-role on this story. I love her deeply, by many contrast she is helping me to make choices more benevolent in my life (that’s kind of her present to me). I was wondering how could I make a difference in her life. Maybe you can help me on this one.

    Thank you dearly for your great work.

    • Trevor says:

      Marie (?)

      If ever we needed a definition of quicksand, you just provided it. It is a sad situation and made more so by the pattern that would perhaps be obvious to many people who know your mother, but not to your mother. There is no surprise or chance link between the illnesses your mother has suffered and continues to suffer and the way she has lived and continues to live in fear. She is not unusual. Fear paralyzes us and does so at many levels including the physical. The answer is easy, but the application hard, and the answer is to live fearlessly. It is that simple.

      On my great aunt’s 90th birthday she went hang gliding for the first time. She had lived a fearless life despite being a spinster, and I don’t recall her having a day’s illness her whole time until her body finally got worn down by the gravity and radiation that get to us all eventually.

      I don’t think it possible to influence people who live in fear except by living fearlessly ourselves. Sometimes they choose to follow the light and other times to hide from it. We can do nothing but live in the light of being all we can be in the moment. If you worry about what is to come for her, or struggle with the life she has lost through fear, you become part of that experience and it can hurt you. You can only be responsible for how you live and if you live to the best you can be with the information you have to hand right now, you live honoring your mother. That is true love and maybe, just maybe that makes a difference to her.

      There are a few books I can recommend that might help on this subject. Others on here may also be able to recommend some.


      • mariejoseeparent says:

        Dear M. Blake,

        Well that’s fantastic. Thank you for this reply.

        That’s really quicksand as you say. And I must be aware and careful. The person in fear (drowning) will most of the time try to cling on you if you let her come to close. Finding our healthy boundaries, distances, in this situation is of importance. My father has been under her “control” for the last few years. The actual situation my mother not living in their home anymore (she has been hospitalized after an accident and will not return home due to her lost of autonomy) he is recovering from all those year of “slavery”. He is tired and scared to take too much responsibility about/around her. It’s like he got burn out from too much of this drowning victim wife… What a story I find out as I’m writing it! Nevertheless I love them as they are really imperfect and doing their best.

        I really think that she is offering me and my siblings a great opportunity (by contrast) so we can make benevolent choice for our lives.

        Yes living fearlessly is for sure the greatest choice to make. (do you know the story of Anita Moorjani : Dying to be me — a near death experience. The conclusion of it is : live your life fearlessly).

        For my mother, I find out that at least she is able to verbalize it, so she is conscious of it. The bridge from that state of consciousness to the fearlessness is not clear presently, looks as a mystery. It’s a path. Life is a path. She went off, way off the path, in deep sand, wild thick dark forest. Is it possible for her to climb back to the road of joy and simple well being, appreciation, love. light? I don’t know. For now she is a great teacher of the shadow I could say in a way. I wish her for the best. We will all die eventually. That’s ok. In the meanwhile she and I and all the people around are facing a mirror of the possible choices available (again with the contrast of it).

        I can really tell the story of her life as a good story. I don’t worry about it. I wish she would have had more joyful moments, but that’s up to me now. To do it for me and for her. Like you say honoring the role she took in this life to show us/me how to choose a better one for us and all the people we love.

        Although she is kind of stuck, as always I think that those difficulties may crack open a way for the light to come in. Sometime it seems to need to involve a lot of suffering and difficulties.

        From now on, I’d like to choose ease, love, calm and peace in my heart. Balance. Listen quietly. Enjoy the beauties. Breathing.

        Thank you for your great work. I am willing to honor my life, the gift of this life a little bit more everyday. That’s in itself the great project.


  9. Dyan says:

    Thanks Trevor,
    I was going to email you about a situation I’m going through, but didn’t want to bug you.. And came across this.
    Was exactly what I needed, and answered questions I had also:)
    Hope you and yours have a fabulous Xmas!!!

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