Keep Goals to Yourself

Posted by Trevor on 29 February 2012 | 11 Comments


Keep your Goals to yourselfSharing goals or Intentions is one of the most common mistakes people make. While I was writing this segment, a perfect real-life example of why you should never share your Intentions literally walked through the door of my office.

To avoid a difficult home environment, Anne hangs out with a neighbor’s family. The mother in this alternative family, Sue, is a nurturing spirit who has taken Anne under her protective wing.  She is encouraging her to take charge of her destiny. No one cares more for Anne than Sue.

Anne has her heart set on a particular occupation. She interviewed for three positions, and wanted one more than the others. Because I had encouraged her to use the Three Steps, she announced that she had been imagining already receiving this job offer. I asked her a few questions, and clearly she had taken on board the advice about future-history. I was excited for her.

Unfortunately, in her excitement as the nurturer, Sue told me how much she had been imagining it for Anne as well. My stomach lurched a little. A few minutes later Anne admitted that she had shared her Intentions with some friends. One friend sent her a text to say she had already purchased a celebration gift for Anne in anticipation of her success. My heart sank.

Let’s use imagery to think through why her failure was almost guaranteed. After all doesn’t everyone just want the same thing, that good news for Anne? We now know that everything we are is energy. Everything around us is energy. Everyone’s thoughts are energy.

Anne had an Intention. At the moment she had the thought, she was standing on the edge of a clear, still, pond. The pond represents the infinity of nothingness. Her dream job is on the opposite bank, and all she needed was to find some way to send energy to it, and have it connect. Once connection is made the laws of nature fill in the details. The intended target must come to the requestor.

She picked up a pebble, which is the energy of her thoughts. The weight, shape and balance of the pebble are unique to Anne because no two people have the same thought cocktail. She tossed it gently into the pool. Concentric ripples spilled out from the small splash, and gently stretched across the pool. The outermost ripple moved toward the opposite bank. At this point, Anne was in complete control of her destiny. Soon the ripple would spill onto the opposite bank and the connection would have been completed.

All of a sudden, however, Anne’s guardian and Anne’s friends ran out of the woods to join her around the lake. Shouting encouragement like cheerleaders they all picked up pebbles, and tossed them into the water from various positions. Although they were well meaning, their pebbles are not only being thrown from different angles, but they have their own unique shapes, weights, and balances which reflect their own mixture of thoughts.

The effect of their help was to send ripples out in all directions. Suddenly, there was a mass of competing energy in the pool. When energy waves collide they become subject to what is called destructive interference. Anne had lost control of the creative process. Ripples crashed into each other, and a mini-maelstrom was born in the center of the pond. No ripple made it to the other side. The connection was never made.

This is what usually happens when we share the energy of our Intentions with others.  In reality, Anne can only have control over her own mentality and, therefore, her own energy. As much as Sue cares for her, Anne has no sense of how well her guardian angel controls her own mentality. While Sue is shouting encouragement, she may also be so desperate for Anne to succeed that the actual thoughts and images she has are not of success, but fear of what would happen if Anne did not get offered the job.

When Anne and Sue left our home, my wife and I said together, “What a pity,” because we knew the risk we all take when we enthusiastically share goals. A week later Sue was in our house again, and told us Anne did not get the offer she wanted.Like all good mothers, she worries about Anne, and although the words from her mouth are gung-ho, the image in her mind might also be of how she will support Anne if the job offer is not forthcoming. Because we always get what we imagine, Sue is as likely to get the experience of having to support a disappointed Anne, as Anne is of getting the job offer. Their thoughts are competing even though their Intentions are noble.

Your life is at stake. Never share the energy of your Intentions with anyone. There are no exceptions to this rule.

Photo: This is a view of Sammamish River Valley looking east toward Woodinville Wine District and the Cascade Mountains… and is the view from my backyard in Redmond first thing in the morning when the inversion temperature invariably causes mist in the valley.


  1. Cat says:

    fabulously written 🙂

  2. Jane Shand says:

    Really looking forward to reading the book your blog is fantastic

    • Trevor says:

      Thanks Jane, did you know you can read the first 25 pages already? Just click on the ‘Sneak Peek’ tab and download the first chapter.

      • Jane Shand says:

        Have just read the first 25 pages in sneek a peek, Truely inspiring and beautifully written Trevor as they say –

        ‘Behind every successful man there is a good woman’ You have been blessed and fortunate to have had two.

  3. Lori Kauble says:

    Powerful advice! This is such an amazing example and so awesomely told that it leaves one wanting more! Encore, encore!!! 🙂

  4. I think it goes both ways – by ‘putting it out there’ we can create a greater commitment to ourselves. But be careful who you share with. Especially if it is something intensely personal. Nice post 🙂


    • Trevor says:

      Cathy, I can appreciate your comment, and I know there are many who feel the way you feel, but I simply can’t endorse your position. When energy waves collide they become subject to what is called interference. Interference can be constructive or destructive depending on the matching amplitude of the energy wave. To be constructive, the energy must be of absolute equal angle and amplitude. Thought energies, however, are like fingerprints. No two people have exactly matching cocktails of thoughts at the same time and place. By the law of physics, sharing goals can only cause destructive interference. The challenge is that this is something out of our control. One we have a thought, we release its energy to the world. It is no longer inside us and therefore we can no longer control what happens to it and how other people’s thoughts, even people who love us, impact it. As an example I have never shared my goals with my wife of the last thirty years. She never asks me about them, and when I discussed this with her recently she told me she even avoids reading my white board (where my goals are listed) when she is in my office for fear of interfering. Given the facts that we have been happily married thirty years, and are self-made multi millionaires, following this rule has served us well.

      • Richelle says:

        i loved this response! i am someone who is CONSTANTLY discussing with others my thoughts/plans/goals for my life, and for years have been left wondering why none of them have come to fruition. i really needed to read this today, it all makes soooo much sense now! thank you!

  5. Lynda says:


  6. This makes me think. As a child, I was in awe of other ‘dreamers’ like me. I told my dreams many times. I always got new ideas and even bigger dreams from them. Even if I shouldn’t have told them my intentions, I loved talking to them because I always had the sense that they were happy for me.
    But even at 7 years old, I quickly learned who would stomp on my dreams. I instinctively knew never to tell them things like that. I thought it was the difference between right brained people and left brained. Now I know.

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